Sunday, 22 May 2011

253. Soliloquy at the petrol station

Scene:  I have filled my car with petrol and go in to pay.  I hear the radio blaring as I make my way to the till, where the 20+ year old cashier has just finished serving a customer.  As I step up to the till I hear the radio disc jockey mention that after the news he'll be playing the latest song of "the delectable Lady Gaga".

Cashier:  Delectable?  I tell you I'm sick and tired of hearing about her.  Can't STAND her.  She looks awful, dresses worse, dead artificial.  People just talk about her, not about the music.  She's supposed to be a singer...

Me:  Mmm.  Pump No. 14 please.

Cashier:  Like that Madonna - all the rage in the 90's she was.  Couldn't STAND her.  Them pointy tits.  Always had to be in the news about other stuff.  She was supposed to be a singer...

Me:  Mmm.  Do I put my card in this way up?

Cashier:  Yes love.  I tell you, these women are there to sing, but all they want you to do is look at them, not listen to their voices.  Can't STAND them.

Me:  Mmm.  Can I take my card out now?

Cashier:  Yes love.  I mean, look at footballers.  We want to watch them play and all they want to do is screw around and appear in newspapers and demand a lot of money.  Can't STAND that.  I've read that they used to pay footballers £20 a week back in the fifties, and look at them now.  Just for kicking a ball around...

Me:  Mmm.  I know, it's a scandal.  Well, bye for now.

Cashier:  Bye love.  Nice talking to you.


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