Thursday, 24 February 2011

169. All-time Favourite Jokes Series – Transcription of Air Traffic Control Chatter (11 of 12)

Scene:  While taxiing at London's Gatwick Airport, the crew of a US Air flight departing for Ft Lauderdale made a wrong turn and came nose to nose with a United 727.

Irate Ground Controller: (Screaming at the US Air crew)
"US Air 2771, where the hell are you going?! I told you to turn right onto Charlie taxiway! You turned right on Delta! Stop right there. I know it's difficult for you to tell the difference between C and D, but get it right!"

(Continuing her rage to the embarrassed crew, now shouting):

"God! Now you've screwed everything up! It'll take forever to sort this out! You stay right there and don't move till I tell you to! You can expect progressive taxi instructions in about half an hour and I want you to go exactly where I tell you, when I tell you, and how I tell you! You got that, US Air 2771?"
US Air 2771: (meekly) "Yes, ma'am,"

The ground control communications frequency naturally fell terribly silent after the verbal bashing of US Air 2771. Nobody wanted to chance engaging the irate ground controller in her current state of mind. Tension in every cockpit out around Gatwick was definitely running high. Just then an unknown pilot broke the silence.

Unknown Pilot:  "Wasn't I married to you once?"


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