After a five minute wait for doors to shut on tube, driver makes an announcement:
"For those of you who have just joined us, we've been slightly held up by a passenger emergency alarm being activated in one of the rear carriages, as one passenger was unfortunately taken ill. Just so you know, she has now been thrown out and thoroughly beaten up for making you all wait here unnecessarily. For consideration to others therefore, if anyone else feels like passing out, could you please try and hold on until we get to Stratford. Thanks."
Overheard by Rob, waiting at Canada Water, Jubilee Line, just after midnight.