Monday 19 September 2011

372. How to give bed baths

Background:  Experienced nurse Marie is helping out in the ward, and is also training a very young and pretty nurse, Daisy, in giving bed baths.  She is showing signs of nervousness at having to treat youngish high spirited male patients.   Marie has given her sensible advice – speak soothingly to them as you wash them and stick to practical subjects. 

As she works, Daisy is at the next bed, around which screens have been drawn to afford the patient some privacy while he is being washed.  Through the flapping curtain Marie can see that he is surprisingly well endowed.  To a nurse with her years and experience this is merely a physiological fact, but she realises there might be a problem as soon as Daisy starts at the foot end,  and the younger girl’s embarrassment is palpable through the curtain.  “Stick to practical issues, Daisy”, Marie wills her silently, as she deals with her own patient.  She hears her through the curtain.

Daisy (20):  Well Mr Evans, if you would just lie flat for me... that’s it, thank you.  Let’s do your feet first.

She then proceeds to  knee level.

...Right ...er... I hope I’m not doing this too hard...No?....good...

Further up.

...So...er...(ooh!)...are you married Mr Evans? ... No?  Oh, what a waste....er a shame...

Followed by a long, embarrassed silence.

-oOo-

With thanks to Sarah

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