1130. Dog Shaming (9)

-oOo-

1129. Schoolboy Howlers from 16 year olds (1)

Q:  Name the four seasons

A:  Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

-oOo-

1128. Travel Stories (5)

A Danish couple were spending a couple of months travelling in South America.  After two weeks the man turned to his partner and asked:  "What does 'Por favor' actually mean?"

-oOo-

1127. Huh?

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1126. Welsh Idiosyncrasies - Nickname Series (123)

An apprentice joiner was sent to build a new seat in an outside nettie (toilet). He cut a square hole in the seathole and henceforth was forever known as Squarehole-Johnson.

-oOo-

1125. More Air Traffic Control Chatter (17)

Pilot, UAL525:  What's this aircraft doing at my altitude!?

Control Tower:  UAL 525, what makes you think it's YOUR altitude, Captain?

-oOo-

1124. Memorable Signs (61)

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1123. What we mean is what we don't say.... (107)

What we say:  I've left the washing up because I don't know where everything goes and I'm sure you have your own way of doing things.

What we mean:  I hate washing up.

What is says about us:  I hate it so much that I don't care what you think of me (and I have the neck to go with it.)

OR

I'm old enough to get away with it...

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1122. Well, you did ask...

Younger son (2): Wod-dis, Daddy?

Father (40): It’s a graphic representation via a matrix of your brother’s little pictures.

Youger son (2): Ah

Loosely translated from Blogudeces de la Vida Cotidiana, with thanks to Gustavo.

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1121. Grumpy Old Quotes (36)

I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent.  People know this, and steer clear of me at parties.  Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don't even invite me.

Dave Barry

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The series of Grumpy Old Quotes comes from "More Wrinklies' Wit & Wisdom", Compiled by Allison Vale and Alison Rattle, ISBN -13: 978-1-86200-331-6, published in 2006 by SevenOaks, which I thoroughly recommend.

1120. Dog shaming (8)

-oOo-

1119. Grumpy Old Quotes (35)

It's no longer a question of staying healthy.  It's a question of finding a sickness you like.

Jackie Mason

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The series of Grumpy Old Quotes comes from "More Wrinklies' Wit & Wisdom", Compiled by Allison Vale and Alison Rattle, ISBN -13: 978-1-86200-331-6, published in 2006 by SevenOaks, which I thoroughly recommend.

1118. Travel Stories (4)

Overheard at the Vatican, lady with American accent:  "Bob, if this is the Sistine Chapel, don't you think we should visit the other fifteen as well?"

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1117. Kulula Airlines (36)

Kulula is a low-cost South-African airline  operating in South Africa on domestic flights, that doesn't take itself too seriously. Check out their new livery! And have a read about their Customer Relations.

Their novel approach is brightly coloured livery and to make everything humorous - either by the way they paint the outside of their planes or with their public address system. The word Kulula itself means "it's easy" in the Zulu and Xhosa languages.

Click to enlarge

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1116. Welsh Idiosyncrasies (Nickname Series) (122)

An Englishman named David retired to Wales and was told he would have a nickname within the day.  He was very determined that he wouldn't, and didn't give cause of any nickname - but three years later he was rushed to the hospital.

In the pub that night everyone was discussing it when someone asked "What Dai are you talking about?"

The reply came "Dai-same-as-us".

"Why's that then?"

"Cos they die, same as we do."

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1115. More Air Traffic Control Chatter (16)

Control Tower:  DAL1176, say speed.

Pilot, DAL1176:  We slowed it down to two-twenty.

Control Tower:  DAL1175, pick it back up to two-fifty... this ain't Atlanta, and them ain't grits on the ground.

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1114. Memorable Signs (60)

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1113. What we mean is what we don't say (106)

What we say:  I send my mother/grandmother/aunt birthday cards and greeting cards for Easter, Mother's Day, Christmas and New Year.  I'm in touch all the time.

What we mean:  Life is just so busy...I don't always get time to call.

What is says about us:  Yes, of course I visit her, when time allows.  About once a year.

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1112. Seasonal discussion, Argentina

Wife (33): When winter starts here, in the northern hemisphere they’re going into summer.

Son (10): And are the months different over there too?

Gustavo’s comment: Aaaah - bless...

Loosely translated from Blogudeces de la Vida Cotidiana, with thanks to Gustavo.

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1111. Grumpy Old Quotes (35)

Acting is merely the art of keeping a large group of people from coughing.

Sir Ralph Richardson

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The series of Grumpy Old Quotes comes from "More Wrinklies' Wit & Wisdom", Compiled by Allison Vale and Alison Rattle, ISBN -13: 978-1-86200-331-6, published in 2006 by SevenOaks, which I thoroughly recommend.

1110. Dog Shaming (7)

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1109. Grumpy Old Quotes (34)

Each year it grows harder to make ends meet - the ends I refer to are hands and feet.

Richard Armour

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The series of Grumpy Old Quotes comes from "More Wrinklies' Wit & Wisdom", Compiled by Allison Vale and Alison Rattle, ISBN -13: 978-1-86200-331-6, published in 2006 by SevenOaks, which I thoroughly recommend.

1108. Travel Stories (3)

An English family was holidaying in Melbourne; the father wass pulled over by the police for the fourth time on the trip for speeding.  The policeman asked him if he'd been stopped by the police in Australia before, to which he replied "No", only for his young son to lean forward and shout out loudly, "Oh no Daddy, not again!"

-oOo-

1107. Kulula Airlines (35)

Kulula Airlines is a low cost airline operating in South Africa on domestic flights. Their novel approach is brightly coloured livery and to make everything humorous - either by the way they paint the outside of their planes or with their public address system. The word Kulula itself means "it's easy" in the Zulu and Xhosa languages.

Fourth Wife Flies Free

(Below is total transcription of what is on the poster, as you may not be able to read it even by double clicking on it)

.

"Should you find yourself flying across our beautiful nation on business, holiday, or even, say, on honeymoon, you’ll be pleased to hear that as long as all five of you fly together, not only will you get a great deal on kulula.com flights for your first three wives, but your fourth wife will fly free, mehala, on the house*. "

.
"(For hat purposes, our overhead storage spaces are 40cm in height. Each passenger has a limit of seven kilogrammes per hat.)"

.
"  *Legal stuff applies."

4 Rings at the top are intertwined and say "I Do/I Do/I Do/Me Too".

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